Seeing the strange in the familiar...

...and vice versa.
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I went to Nashville this past weekend. It was a total blast; I went to a formal with a neighbor from Bolivar, hung out at Belmont, went exploring, got coffee with another friend from Bolivar, saw Belmont's best of the best music showcase, and visited a church that I'm pretty sure I'll attend next semester when I get to Belmont.

I think I can honestly say I've finally come to a point where I no longer feel like I live two separate lives and I can now reconcile my two "worlds": Bolivar and Birmingham. Ironically, the latter will cease to be a world of mine in about two weeks. That's just weird to think about. In about three and a half months, I'll have a new world to reconcile with Bolivar: Nashville. That's also really weird to think about.

Four semesters left of college. Honestly, that actually doesn't feel weird to me. High school already seems like a while ago. I would say something about how close I am to being on my own out in the real world, but virtually, I already am (well, not financially, but otherwise).
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At the beginning of this semester, I was stoked about how awesome [I expected] this semester was going to be.

It's been the worst semester of my life.

but honestly, in a way,

I secretly love how it has turned out.

I've had to rely on God more than ever.

A very wise person recently told me that as I get older, I will likely find this to become even more true.

and I believe it.

and I'm okay with it.

one hundred percent.

It's a good day in the neighborhood.

How to Save a Life

I know it was a week ago, but Easter was awesome. I had an excellent e x t e n d e d weekend at home.

I almost died on the way back. In hilly/mountainous/forested northern Arkansas, my front right tire caught the gravel edge of the two-lane road on which I was driving, sending me swerving off the road, spinning down a muddy hill where I almost crashed into the trees where the forest began. It felt so surreal that I had to tell myself, "Grant, this is actually happening." I had my laptop in the passenger's seat playing my iTunes library, and the song playing while I was spinning down the hill was Mind's Eye by DC Talk, at this point in the song:

...like a child i hold onto You
in my moment of truth, yes i do

we can ride the storm,
endure the pain
You comfort me in my hurricane
and i'll never be alone again

I'm not even joking.

Several people stopped along the highway and ran down the hill to see if I was okay. I was a little shaken and embarrassed, but amazingly, my car and I were totally fine. After some tricky maneuvering, I was able to drive back up the hill back onto the highway.

*wipes sweat off brow*

God is good. Even if I had crashed and died, God is good. All the time.
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I finished two papers today. Relief.

14 days of class left. This is the part of the semester I call "survival mode."

I have a newfound love for the Philly Cheese Steak Wrap things in the food court. They combine three of my favorite things: red meat, cheese, and bread.

Amen.

Wo Das Herz Ist

72 hours from now, I will be coming through this exact front door.

:)

The whole time I've been away at college, I've never actually been homesick. I think of Bolivar fondly, but I'm not really dying to be there.

But now I sure am ready to be there.
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"Is there anything better than finally finding your way home?
Is there anything worse than finally reaching home and finding that you're still lost?

[Grant] reflected bitterly that a large part of growing up seemed to involve watching everything change, and discovering that all change is permanent. That nothing ever changes back.

That you can't go home again."

-Matthew Stover, in his book, Traitor

^This used to describe my life at one point. I couldn't handle change for the life of me. I couldn't even rearrange my room. I got extremely tantrum-throwing-upset when we moved across town when I was 8.

That's not me anymore.

Seeking control of change does not allow me to pursue my calling. If I'm trying to tame change, am I really allowing Jesus to be Lord of my life? Nope.

I'm tired of living what feels like two separate lives in two different states. When I walk through that door in 72 hours, I will attempt to be the exact same person that walked out of it at the end of spring break...

...only changed.